007: Heaven

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014 10:58 pm
geminianeyes: Fran X Miles Double Team  (Fran X Miles Double Team)

Image of storks from my own collection
Image of storks from my own collection

The first thing she was aware of was the feel of the gentle breeze caressing her cheek.

It was a constant, gentle thing, a cooling wind to blow away the cares of the day. She found herself breathing easily, enjoying the breeze. Each breath she took brought new aromas, opened her senses to more information about this place.

The scent of wildflowers. Of freshly-cut grass. The cleanliness of a river.

A beautiful meadow, she thought to herself, her mind instantly casting back to when she was just five years old, and her parents had taken her and her brother on a family picnic. That one moment, when she was a child, walking in the tall grass.

“Open your eyes, Alice,” the brimstone voice of the demon broke her reverie.

Alice opened her eyes to find herself standing on a small hill, under the shade of a large yew tree. Around them, she could see people about them, frozen in a moment. Some were running after each other. A few were sitting on picnic blankets, sharing food. She even saw a couple kissing passionately, lovers entwined with each other, forgetting the world. Her cheeks turned red and she looked away.

“You may speak, child,” the demon’s voice seemed to unlock Alice’s lips, and she found the questions tumbling out.

“Where is this? What am I doing here? Why is everyone frozen?” Alice found herself hyperventilating, panic rising in her chest for no reason.

“Breathe, child. You are not in danger here. This…” he waited till Alice had taken two deep breaths and released them before he continued, “Is heaven. A place where those who are sinless and those who have done good, are taken to rest. Frozen, in a moment of time, at their happiest.”

“What… what is it that you wish me to do here then?”

“We want you to destroy Heaven,” she looked at him as though he had gone mad.

He grinned, and sat down. Alice could not help but think how absurd it was, that here, in the sunlight, in what was supposed to be one of the holiest places, a demon, complete with horns, cloven feet, and thin tail, was sitting happily on the ground. And looking up to HER as though she was going to do the impossible.

“What?” she blinked and stared at him.

“Corrupt Heaven, Alice. This is the price you will pay.”

“But how?” she took a few steps back from him and held her hands open wide, to emphasise her words.

“I leave that up to you. Let me know when it begins, hmm?” the demon leant against the Yew tree, closed his eyes, and soon began snoring.

Alice did not dare to even think of running away. She had made a bargain, and she would stick with it. The question that arose, of course, was how do you corrupt heaven?


Heaven, they say, is a place on earth.

Or that it’s something you work on. I don’t know. And to be honest, I stopped caring a long time ago.

Heaven, to me, is a state of mind. It’s a moment of bliss, a moment of happiness. A moment where everything clicks. When you feel right, and that everything around you is right. A moment that you would want to freeze. So as to remember it forever.

I don’t want to freeze time.

I know I don’t want to die. I have a lot of things to live for. I always had, I’ve just never had the courage to admit it to myself. But that’s beside the point.

I like the idea of Heaven, but I don’t like what you have to do to get there. That separation is painful. And if there is nothing in this life after death, it is also pointless.

Much better to love and appreciate the people around you instead while they are here. Heaven shouldn’t be a place you wait to meet those who’ve gone before. By the time you’ve found out, it’ll be too late.

Heaven should be a place on earth. Or rather, a person on earth.

Moments of happiness. Of life.

I don’t want to leave this plane. I don’t want to leave my friends, my family, my loves. I want to live here. To be here. Eternal happiness is nothing if the people I care about are not there.

Hell, they say, is other people. But I’m willing to be in Hell if my loved ones are in hell. Because my heaven are the people I care about.

And apparently I can care quite a bit.

This entry was written for the 100 Themes Challenge. For the full list, click here.

Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

depressing words

Monday, August 25th, 2014 10:29 pm
geminianeyes: Fran X Miles Double Team  (Fran X Miles Double Team)

Full moon over Osaka, July 2013
Full moon over Osaka, July 2013

Trigger warning for depressing content. You’ve been warned. Also a lot of self-indulgence, so um.. yeah.

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Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

Fencing at MMU

Sunday, November 27th, 2011 12:05 pm
geminianeyes: Who Needs Sanity (Who Needs Sanity)

MMU Swashbuckler Fencing Duel

So am here on a Sunday morning to watch Dimmie fence. It’s her first tournament after taking up fencing this year, so decided to follow because I’m a busybody and because I’m curious.

What I’ve learnt so far is that fencing has 3 different kinds of competitions. Dimmie is taking part in the épée, which, in her own words, is “go in, stab, get point!” It’s the easiest of the three. The other two are the saber and the foil. For those two, there’s a rule called “right of way.” You basically need to get right of way to get a point.

Epée thus is like checkers. Some strategising but it’s fairly straightforward. Right now I’m waiting for her to take her turn. There’s only 8 fencers though, compared to I think 20 for the men earlier, so things should go faster? :P

So right now we are waiting for the women to get started. The women got started at about 11am and it’s almost 12. There’s been at least 5 bouts apiece for each. The points and rules are simple.

Land a hit, score a point. First person to 5 wins. You have a 3 minute time limit. Most matches take about 1.5 to 2 minutes. So it’s been fairly quick matches.

One of the interesting observations I’ve seen is that there are really competitive women here. One participant, in the middle of a match with DImmie, remarked to bystanders that she “didn’t want to do this (fencing) anymore.” Talk about frustration.

Now we see whether we continue through lunch or if something else comes up.

Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

geminianeyes: Fran X Miles Double Team  (Fran X Miles Double Team)

Had the itch to write, but no idea what. Please note that this story is NOT for resale or redistribution except with permission (those who are mentioned in the story are of course exempted from this). Cut to save F-List:

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Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Someone in Malaysia had the zombie virus. It spread fast.

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Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Heard this story from a friend, and would like an honest opinion on this. If you don’t want your opinion/thought to be publicised, feel free to drop me a LJ note/DM on Twitter/Facebook message.

The question is simple:

Assuming the price is right, would you buy a house which had had a dog in it? If you would, would you also buy a house where there had been religious symbols not of your religion abound? I.e. Statues of Kuan Yin, Christian pictures or Quran pictures on the walls, etc?* Why yes, why not?


*Note that the family is moving out and taking all the religious iconography with them, so the house will be empty when you receive it.

Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

On behalf of Ti…

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011 11:09 pm
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)


So with all the other stuff happening around me (especially family crisis and floods) I haven’t been able to put as much of an effort on the San Fran Plan as I could. There is a website being set up with more info on my project and affiliate links, but I’m waiting on the designer to get back to me (she says she’s nearly done). But other then that, there is a lot of work to be done to make this happen in time.

I’ve had a LOT of positive feedback on the project, especially from people in San Francisco – but not as much money coming in. Some promises, but nothing materialised yet. My first goal is to get $650 for my deposit to CELLspace, which I still owe – this confirms my attendance. Then it’s $2000 for the airfare. The rest of the fees I can earn over time, but those are the biggest priorities.

Things I need help with:

Funding sources – due to bridging visa issues, I am not eligible for Australian grants or scholarships. I haven’t found any American grants that I qualify for (also due to residency). I did apply for $1000 from the Awesome Foundation but haven’t heard anything. If you hear of any other possible sources for money please let me know.

Media promo, especially blogs – I would like to send out a press release to various queer, politics, porn, local, arts media in Australia and the US but I do need help writing something up. I also would like my project posted on related blogs – for example, Becky Hunter’s interview of me. I do have at least one relatively famous person who’s promised to do a blog post, but again promises and results are two different things. So if you have any favourite columnists or bloggers that you think will like the San Fran Plan, please recommend it to them!

Sponsorship resources – it would help a ton if portions of the trip, especially the flight, could be sponsored. I’ve tried to contact Virgin but no dice, haven’t heard from AirAsia/Tony Fernandes, and may hit up Qantas soon. If you know of any companies that are willing to sponsor me or vouch for me or help me out, please pass my details on. What could be handy, for example, is them paying for my residency fees as a donation to CELLspace (maybe it can be tax-free??)

Jobs, freelance work, being hired – I’m open to any sort of suggestion, including things like modelling or webcamming, so long as it’s legit and pays OK. Here’s my LinkedIn profile for resumes. I can work in Brisbane, online, or elsewhere if travel expenses are covered.

Patrons, sugar mummies, mystery benefactors – you get the idea.

Donations! – of course! Every dollar helps!

Please pass this on – reblogs, retweets, emails, however you like. Every little bit helps for sure. Thank you so much!

Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Based on yesterday’s eroge. Need to finish the last ending, but I think these are ok for now. Might polish the first two later and rewrite them though.

Generic Good Ending: Cleaved in half
Generic Bad Ending: Angel’s blood on my hands
WTF I don’t know what they were smoking ending: Melt into you

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Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

I came up with this while reading Shiro’s plurk. :3 Thoughts?

Overarching plot:
A demon sleeps in their village who haunts the dreams of twins. He is in love with the MC who is the reincarnation of his love, but she does not love him back. Rather, she was the one who sealed him away, and if he is unleashed, he will take revenge on all those who had imprisoned him. Said MC is also the descendent of the woman, strictly speaking perhaps one of the demon’s descendents? An angel is sent to ensure that the demon will not be released.

Cut to save the Flist.

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Original entry as appearing at Ink to Screen.

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Quick note cause I’m too lazy to write more:

Long queue is very long. Over 11,000 visitors? That’s insane! This is quite a huge jump from over 9k the previous years. No wonder BTS couldn’t handle us. XD

Best Troll in Hall. XD Damn good contestants.

Missed Cosplay Comp. Didn’t really regret that. Missed the Industry seminar. AAAAAAAAA WHY DIDN’T I GO? Missed Phil Ortiz’s and Phil Yeh’s Industry Seminar. *headdesks*

Breakfast in the Hotel. Yummy!

Time with friends? ALWAYS AWESOME! Even if I did fall sick on the second day.

Meeting new people and having random people say that Ticketing was very helpful: <3

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

PS: DRR! IZAYA IS <3, Celty is OMGHAWTNESS, SQUEE WINDOWS 7 Nanami Madobe! Also WTF I respect this Facebook Cosplay, KYAAA TRUNKS! Oooo RO, Random Maid for the Win (thanks Silvy!) Darling Family esp Danzai no Maria and Pet, Oooo Hot Girls in Gantz, And so many more! Thank you my friends, you know who you are, for making this year’s Comic Fiesta one of the best I’ve ever had!

Also especial thanks goes to the committee. :D Get some sleep la!

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

*blows dust off journal* Hello! How’s everyone feeling today? :P Good? Glad to hear that. So now you can make yourself comfy and read this long ass update. XD

So, I’ve been going through this Meta-NLP course for the past few days. NLP is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which basically says that all the resources you need to be successful or to achieve your goals in life is there with you. It’s a matter of accessing and realising that the resources are there for you to use that you need to be aware of. 

It’s day 4 today and we’re learning about meta-states. My understanding of this is simply thinking about thinking. For example, someone cuts into your lane. You feel angry that someone did so. Then you think to yourself, “wait, why am I being angry?” It’s examining your reactions to an event. It simply drives home the conclusion that it’s very normal to feel emotions. Feeling angry, sad, happiness, frustration, disappointment, all these are normal. It’s normal to feel. Productive even, in some cases (note that we’re talking mainly about feeling. Whether a person actually demonstrates it is another matter entirely). 

Talking about meta-states is not the reason I’m sitting here in front of the comp skipping lunch because I had a heavy breakfast though. :P  

It’s just that I wanted to bring you a simple message.

Have you given yourself permission to be awesome? Did you think about allowing yourself to be the person that you want to be? That you know you CAN be? 

Have you simply said to yourself, “I give myself permission to be awesome” and then let nature takes it course?

I’m writing this entry with one particular friend in mind, but perhaps you can apply it to all other areas in your life. I’m not saying that this will be a mantra and that your life will be smooth sailing after this (if I did, someone lock me up because we all know that life doesn’t happen that way). Rather, I want to ask, when was the last time YOU felt awesome? Remember that time, let your body feel it again. 

Now put it out of your mind. And go about your day as normal. Let awesomeness come to you. 

Tell me what happens later ya? :D

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Thinking of Suikoden Tierkreis. Assuming that Tsundere = increased stats.

Neon (Support Star)
Passive Ability: Increase tendency to Tsundere.
Active Ability: Enable
When Neon is in your party, random maps appear more frequently with treasures within.

Billy (Active Party Member)
Passive Ability: Moe Finder
Active Ability: Berserk
When Billy is in your party, no law enforcement officer will stop you, even if you are robbing them blind (including swindling them).

Passive Ability: Multiple Personas
Active Ability: Organiser
When Juufan is in the party, more random NPC quests will open up. Note that if Neon is in the party, Juufan’s tsudere meter will increase.

Passive Ability: Tsun 100% in random battle
Active Ability: Return to Town for free anytime
When Shiro is in party, all stats are boosted by 10%. Tsun 100% activates randomly in battle more often with Neon around.

Passive Ability: Goal focused
Active Ability: Fangirlism
When Sairenmizuko is in the party, all quest goal markers are activated. Note that Sairenmizuko is the only member who is NOT affected by Neon’s Tsundere effect.

Passive Ability: Flip Table
Active Ability: Heal 100%
When Sringangel is in the group, all injury damage is lowered except in the case of Fangirlism mode. Then Sringangel receives a boost to stats but suffers from higher injury. Note if Billy is in the group, chances of random injuries to Sringangel will increase.

Passive Ability: Horrify
Active Ability: Summon Tenta Bunnies
When Tibbar is in the group, chances of enemies being dismembered violently (and thus unable to resurrect) increases by a factor of 5. However, whenever not in battle, Tibbar resumes a pet-like form that makes it easy to carry her. Normal carriers include Naoko and May.

Passive Ability: Fangirl Pika
Active Ability: Polite Reasoning
When Annachuu is in the group, party gets discount at all stores. However, note that chances of encountering the rabid fangirl mob increases as well.

[To be added]

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

Help wanted!

Saturday, December 4th, 2010 03:42 pm
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Got this from a friend:

Hello Friends,

I would like to draw your attention for a quick second to something that is near and dear to my heart – helping to end the long and cruel reign of NF 2 and to finally be set free from the menacing shackles of NF 2 that we are trapped in from the moment we are diagnosed with this wretched illness.

As you may know, I was diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis Type 2 at an early age. It is a genetic condition marked by various benign (and sometimes cancerous) tumors that grow on the nervous system, that includes the brain and the spine – two extremely important centers within our bodies for everyday functioning. To give you an idea of what we go through, let us start with a tumor that is inherently present within almost all who are diagnosed with NF 2; the tumor that grows on the hearing nerve. During our early 20s, we succumb to losing not just our hearing but our sense of balance coupled with suffering the consequences of facial paralysis (such as the inability to smile or worse yet, the inability to shut our eyes completely which leads to severe dry eyes. If not treated with eye lubricants on a daily basis, we may lose our vision as well because it’s very important that the corneas of our eyes stay lubricated).

For me personally, I have had a myriad of surgeries to remove these tumors since I was 9 years old. Each time, I had to climb my way out of that pit of despair. With each surgery, I lost a little piece of me forever. I was constantly barraged with teases as a child from my school peers. I even suffered the misfortune of having my spine compromised by an overly confident and unapologetic neurosurgeon. As a result, if it wasn’t for the miraculous hands of my orthopaedic surgeon in India, I would not be here right now. However, I have clung on very tightly over the years to the adage which I have come to respect, that is that “there is always a way to survive what seems insurvivable”.

I learned to look at NF in a different light. It taught me many things, things which some people will never learn, never come full circle with, no matter how brittle their bones get! I learned at a very early age who was my friend and who was not, I learned to prioritize the important things in life, I learned to be comfortable in my own skin, I learned not to waste time on what seems frivolous as time on earth is very short, I learned never to take life for granted, I learned that Faith is not the belief that God will do what I want but instead the belief that God will do what is right for me. When I look at my reflection in the mirror and see all the bumps and scars on my body, I no longer stare at them in anguish but rather, every bump and every scar on my body is a reminder that I have fought a long and hard battle with NF 2 – and I have won. I even found a man who could care less about the “flaws” on my body, a man who would never leave my side no matter what happens to me, I realize how rare that is and indeed I am grateful that God had such a person in mind in His plans for me.

May it be known that NF is commonly mistaken as a “rare genetic disorder”. NF is THE MOST COMMON GENETIC CONDITION, more common than cystic fibrosis, duchenne muscular dystrophy and Huntington’s disease combined. How many times have you heard about these conditions on TV, in the newspaper?

Thankfully, the scientific and medical community has evolved and is making rapid progress to finding a prevention or a cure for NF. For instance, I am participating in a study in America where a team of researchers study the progress of NF in many people across the spectrum in the hopes of understanding Neurofibromatosis a little better. I had the previlege of meeting the head researcher, Dr. Ashok Asthagiri. I think he is a remarkable human being, at just 35, he has devoted his entire career to understanding the effects of this deadly disease. I have never met a more down-to-earth neurosurgeon, his ability to empathize and connect with all his patients is very much a rare trait found in doctors today.

Anyway, on to the point of my letter, I certainly hope you are still reading by the way. There are many of us who are fighting hard for a cure for NF and I had the honor of meeting a woman who climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro and made a movie out of it in the hopes of raising funds for research and spreading awareness despite being burdened with all the disabilities that NF 2 brings. Rebecca did not reach the summit of Mt. Kilamanjaro, but as I have said many times to many people that she has indeed accomplished the very summit of her purpose. How many abled-bodied people have done what she has? I am awe-struck and inspired to know someone as brave as she is, she suffered through Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, multiple brain surgeries and a spine surgery as a result of NF 2 but as you can see, she has unwaivering strength. Let us not forget the many others who have it much worse than Rebecca, but are weathering each storm as it comes.

As such, I humbly request that you visit http://helpstopnf2.org/ and kindly make a donation to Help Stop NF2. Please remember that NF 1 occurs in 1 : 3000 births…..1 : 3000 births. NF 2 in 1 : 25,000 births…These are jarring statistics and please let these facts slowly sink in. I may not see the cure in my lifetime, but I cannot bear to see another child endure this hardship. I have even made the decision to forego the experience of motherhood, if it means I can spare my child of this deadly illness. Please make a donation, even if it is a small one as many small ones can go a long way.

Please remember, your child may be next.

Thank you very much for all your help.

Keisha Somasundram Petrus

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

So after talking to sis Luc about how I want to eat Japanese curry but wasn’t sure if I had the ingredients to cook them, I had a dream about cooking said Japanese curry with her. I took it as a sign and when I woke up, rummaged around the kitchen. Turns out that we did have extra potatoes, onions and carrots that my brother didn’t use the last time he cooked, so yay! I also did a quick check on the Net for cooking Japanese curry with apples, and someone mentioned that they threw in the apples near the beginning, so…

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Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)


This all started as a joke. You see, a few days ago I misread a tweet from a friend. She was writing about the “tentacles of psychology.” I misread it as “psychology of tentacles.” In my defence, I had just woken up when I saw that tweet. So, in true style, said Twitter Friend, fondly called Tentabunny, decided to take the concept and run away with it.

This is where we stand:

Inquiry Founder: Naoko (aka me)
Pioneering Psychologist (aka lead researcher): Neon
Test subject: Tentabunny!

Class: Ikan Billys, Sairen, Caxi

Potential student: Caxi

Suggested readings:

Basic Tentacology
Portrayal in olden Japan
Modern Revival
Tentacle as Replacement Penis?

Get to class, people!

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.


Monday, June 14th, 2010 10:31 pm
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

You gotta learn to love yourself
Kagayaku Hito, sung by Angela Aki

A few days ago, I celebrated my 26th birthday. I spent it in the company of people I love, people whom I call family, people whom I call friends. Both in the day, and at night. There was of course, 5 hours where I was sitting in a bus, but even this was assuaged. I had a call from Tiara to keep me company towards the end of the bus ride.

Ti darling, you’ll never know how reassuring it was to hear your voice even if I sounded distracted, because it kept me from panicking when the bus took a route different from the one I was used to. :D

I visited my grandmother a few days ago, and she was surprised to hear that I had travelled out of state. In her mind, I’ll always be six years old, innocent, cheerful and a little too talkactive.

Today, I paid a visit to a hair treatment centre for the sheer fun of it. I also handed in some writing assignments, but felt like dropping into a hole because I didn’t think they were up to mark.

Just a few minutes ago, I read this,, from Fenix. There are a number of places where I find myself nodding, agreeing completely with the writer.

Especially the bit about judging people. I’ve gone from bad to worse on that.

But really, it’s time for me to ask myself just what the heck I am doing.

Last month, I quit my job as a full-time copywriter to pursue a career in teaching. A move that seems suicidal, since all my applications seem to have disappeared into a void. Yes, I know, perhaps I’m not looking in the right places.

I’ve been working as a freelance writer to support myself in the meatime, but today told me that maybe I suck at that too. I’m careless, I’m thoughtless, and I’m hopeless with deadlines. This is the truth. Anyone who has worked with me will attest to this.

And lately, it would seem that I also lost the ability to write.

Well, to write convincingly and in a believable manner. To write in a way that brings me joy, not anguish. To write for the sheer pleasure of doing it and not because I have to. Chrodechild and Asad notwithstanding. Or rather, they are the example of me writing unconvincingly, projecting my own desires onto them.

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Does it matter? Do I matter? Is there anything I do that actually brings any changes to the world around me?

*Hums the lyrics to Kagayaku Hito*

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

Sending off the deru

Thursday, March 25th, 2010 09:21 am
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Was so full of lulz and drama! But she’s safely on the plane now, and I’m glad that she’s living her dream. So here’s to Deru! Have fun in Japan, study hard, and we’ll see you soon! :D

See you soon! <3

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.


Thursday, March 11th, 2010 04:11 pm
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

First off: AAAA WHY SO EXP?

I'm planning to get the RM83 tix tomorrow, most likely in the evening at either SUBANG PARADE or Tropicana before I head on over to Silvy's place. So far I have (all RM83 unless stated):

Anyone else? If you want to buy with me, please drop a comment here and I'll contact you with payment details as I need the money asap too.

A good friend is buying for me. :D So am not going to have pre-orders. On another note, if there's a Rock Corner near you, chances are they'll sell the tix. So get it from them! :D

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

Forgot to say

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 06:37 am
geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

GONG XI FA CAI! :D Have a merry year of the Tiger, everyone! :D

Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

geminianeyes: Cute sisters from PW as kids (Default)

Dear friends and family

Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for letting me offer you a shoulder. Thank you for the reality of where I am today. Thank you for sharing your lives with me. Thank you for allowing me into your hearts. Thank you for letting me spoil you. Thank you for letting me get away with teasing you. Thank you for letting me be your cheerleader. Thank you for your smiles. Thank you for the warm hugs.

Thank you, for loving me.


Original entry as appearing at Reach Into Your Soul.

January 2015

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